Many Japanese learners are confused by あげる (ageru) くれる (kureru) and もらう (morau). This article explains the differences between あげる, くれる and もらう in terms of their grammar rules and meanings!
くれる/あげる mean “give”
How to Use くれる (Kureru)
First of all, both あげる and くれる mean “to give” in English. However, くれる usually describes the act from the receiver’s perspective, and puts an emphasis on the generosity of the giver. Therefore, when くれる is used in a sentence, the receiver is usually you or someone close to you (e.g. your child, relative).
(e.g.)
彼 (かれ)が私 (わたし)に本 (ほん)をくれた
He generously/thankfully gave a book to me.
彼が私の妹 (いもうと) に本をくれた
He generously/thankfully gave a book to my younger sister.
How to Use あげる (Ageru)
In the other cases, you use あげる, especially when the giver is you.
(e.g.)
私 (わたし) が彼 (かれ)に本 (ほん)をあげた（×くれた）
I gave a book to him
彼(かれ)が彼女 (かのじょ)に本（ほん）をあげた
He gave a book to her
（Here, くれた is also acceptable if 彼女 is closely related to you, e.g. your daughter/girlfriend）
もらう means “receive”
How to Use もらう (Morau)
(e.g.)
私 (わたし) が彼 (かれ)から本 (ほん)をもらった
I received a book from him
彼(かれ) が彼女 (かのじょ)から本をもらった
He received a book from her.
あげる, くれる, もらう + te-form
あげる, くれる and もらう are often combined with another verb in te-form, and this may confuse you a little. However, their essential roles are basically the same as when they are used in isolation.
1. verb + くれる
Adding くれる after a verb emphasises the generosity/kindness of the person who does the act (“giver”). In this case, the “receiver” (a person for whom the act is done) is usually you or someone close to you (e.g. your child, relative).
(e.g)
1-1. 明日 (あした) 、彼女が私の息子（むすこ）に日本語を教（おし）える
1-2. 明日、彼女が私の息子に日本語を教えてくれる
These two sentences both mean “Tomorrow, she will teach Japanese to my son” in English. However, the second sentence emphasises that she generously teaches Japanese to your son and you are thankful to her for it.
2-1. 彼が私の宿題（しゅくだい）をやった
2-2. 彼が私の宿題をやってくれた
Again, these two sentences both mean “He did my assignment” in English. However, the second sentence emphasises that he generously did your assignment for you and you are thankful to him for it.
It can be used to describe the act of an animal as well as people.
3. 飼(か)っている猫(ねこ)が私に全然(ぜんぜん)懐(なつ)いてくれない
The cat I’m having (as a pet) is not (kindly) friendly to me at all.
2. verb + あげる
Similar to “very+くれる”, adding あげる after a verb emphasises the generosity of the person who does the act (“giver”). The difference is that you use くれる when you (or someone close) receive the act and show your gratitude towards the giver, whereas you use あげる when you are the giver and emphasise your generosity.
(e.g.)
1-1. 明日、私が彼に日本語を教える
1-2. 明日、私が彼に日本語を教えてあげる
These two sentences both mean “Tomorrow, I will teach Japanese to him”, but the latter emphasises that you kindly/generously teach Japanese to him.
あげる is also used when neither the giver nor the receiver is related to you.
(e.g.)
2-1. 彼が彼女の宿題をやった
2-2. 彼が彼女の宿題をやってあげた
Again, these two sentences both mean “He did her assignment” in English. However, the second sentence emphasises that he generously did her assignment for her.
3. verb + もらう
When もらう is combined with a verb, it emphasises that the receiver of the act is very thankful for the act, and therefore it is similar to verb +くれる. The difference is that you use くれる when the giver is the subject of the sentence, whereas you use もらう when the subject is the receiver of the act (like a passive sentence) – recall that あげる means “give” and もらう “receive”.
1-1. 明日、私は先生に日本語を教えられる (* unnatural)
1-2. 明日、私は先生に日本語を教えてもらう（×あげる、くれる）
These two sentences both mean “I will be taught Japanese by my teacher”, but the latter emphasises that you are thankful for the generosity of the teacher. The first sentence is grammatical yet sounds unnatural, as it sounds like you are made to learn Japanese. It is more natural to use the verb “教(おそ)わる”, meaning “be taught”, “have a lecture of ~” (e.g. 先生に日本語を教わる)
2-1. 私の宿題を彼にやられた
2-2. 私の宿題を彼にやってもらった（×あげる、くれる）
These two sentences both mean “My assignment was done by him”, but the latter emphasises that you are thankful for his generosity. The first sentence sounds like your assignment was done by him unexpectedly, and you are not happy about it.
Practice
1. おかあさん、私を産 (う)んで {あげて/くれて/もらって}ありがとう！
2. 先生から数学 (すうがく)を教えて{あげた/くれた/もらった}
3. 友達にお土産 (みやげ)を{あげた/くれた/もらった}
4. 知 (し)らない人に助 (たす)けて{あげた/くれた/もらった}
5. 私、いつも教えて{もらう/あげる/くれる}ばかりで申 (もう)し訳 (わけ)ない
Ans.
1. くれて (You are thankful to your mom for giving birth to you)
2. もらった (You are thankful for being taught by your teacher)
3. あげた (You gave a souvenir to your friends)
4. もらった (You are thankful for being rescued by someone you don’t know)
5. もらう (You are thankful/feel sorry for always being taught)
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